The Backbone™ Series, Part 1 of 3.

I have met plenty of wishbones.
They show up for every ribbon cutting and shrink at every hard vote.

My former Illinois State Senator, Toi Hutchinson, has a name for them. She has said it publicly, and she once said it to me privately: "Some leaders need to get a backbone instead of a wishbone."

Our leaders today need a backbone, not a wishbone.

You are not one of the wishbones. If you are reading this, you already have a backbone.
This series asks who holds you up while you use it.

The Catalyst Perspective

Picture the end of a long council meeting. You are the director, the assistant manager, or the administrator at the staff table.

A resident stood at the podium, jabbed a finger at your public works director, and called him incompetent. The water main on her block took longer to fix than she wanted, so she demanded the council fire him on the spot.

Then a council member went past the questions every vote requires.
Asking questions is part of the job.
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Trying to catch your newest director in a gotcha moment is a different game. In open session, the council member asked whether the new director had the competency for her own job. She had replaced a man in that seat.

The person holding the gavel let it happen.

Sometimes the presiding officer allows the attacks.
Sometimes they lead the charge.
I have lived that, and I hear it from women across the country.

Your staff watched the whole thing. Then they looked at you.

This week a man asked me a question on LinkedIn that I cannot shake: "What do you do if the manager folds like a cheap lawn chair while staff are being attacked?"

I laughed. Then I winced, because I have watched it happen.
That is a wishbone in action, and your staff notice every time.

At the Strong Cities Network & Eradicate Hate Global Summit last month, I sat at a working table with about a dozen city managers. They described staff who feel attacked, undervalued, and treated without dignity. Those employees all ask one question.

Who will stand up for us?
​That person is you. That is the job.

So you stayed composed. You walked your staff to their cars. Then you sat in yours.
It is 10 PM. The parking lot is empty, and nobody thinks to call the woman who held the room.

Look at what your organization built for everyone else.

Your staff has an Employee Assistance Program.
Your council has a retreat, a facilitator, and a catered lunch.
Residents have public comment, social media, and your email address.

You have the parking lot and a cup holder full of cold coffee.

The harder truth is that the leader expected to protect everyone often has no one protecting her.
Many of the women I advise hesitate to name why the room treats them differently. They do not want to play "the woman card."

I tell them what I will tell you. You are not playing a card. You are reading the deck.

The system was built long before you arrived, and it was not built with you in mind. In Under Pressure, the report I worked on as a co-researcher with the Mayors Innovation Project at UW-Madison, 25% of women mayors reported harassment three or more times per month, compared to 10% of men. If the women at the top of the org chart face that, the women at the staff table are not imagining things.

And the isolation grows with every promotion. Each step from director to manager brings more authority and fewer people who understand your day.

Resilience is not a support plan. And cold coffee is not self-care.

The SCALE™ Framework for Public Sector Leadership™

S — Strengths-Based Leadership™ - Composure under fire is a strength. Name it as one instead of treating it as an expectation that costs you nothing.

C — Confidence and Cognitive Reframing™ - Naming bias is not playing a card. It is reading the room with your eyes open.
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​A — Aligned Values and Boundary Negotiation™ - Decide what you will no longer absorb in silence, for yourself and for your staff.

L — Leadership Longevity™ - The 10 PM parking lot is not a sustainable office. Leaders who last build recovery into their week on purpose.

E — Emboldened Ecosystem Building™ - Your backbone needs a support system. Build it before the next hostile meeting, not after the damage.

Take Action Today

Before your next council meeting, write down three names:

1. One peer who holds a seat like yours and will tell you the truth.
2. One person outside your organization and outside local politics.
3. One person who reminds you who you are without the title.

If you cannot fill all three lines, you found your first assignment.
Call one of them this week. Yes, I mean this week.

"She will tell you what you need to hear – to make you better. She is authentic, her advice is genuine, and her perspective is hard-won. She is the real deal." ~ Robin Hamilton, Journalist & Podcast Host of Democracy Does

Final Thoughts

You already have the backbone. You prove it every time you hold a hostile room and walk out with your integrity intact.

In Part 2, we will answer that lawn chair question and show you how to hold the line when the council, the public, or the person holding the gavel turns against your staff.

Who holds you up while you hold up your whole organization?

If you are ready to stop carrying this season by yourself, the Catalyst Strategic Advisory Retainer™ was built for you.
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​What will another year like this one cost you?

It costs more than sleep. It costs the dinners you missed, the conversation with your partner you keep postponing, and the director you watched resign because nobody had her back. It may cost you the next seat, handed to someone who never had to hold the room you held. Four months of private, one-on-one strategy costs far less than another year like this one.

I work with four women at a time, so each one has my full attention.
Apply here: https://portal.chasitywells.com/public/form/view/69c181ecb89193de4da74678​

In partnership and purpose,